Compassionate Response to Bigoted Comments Leads to Unexpected Friendship
The Wired Word for the Week of March 22, 2020
In the NewsA month ago, neither Qasim Rashid nor Oz Dillon could have predicted that they would become friends. Most people would have seen them as polar opposites.
Democrat Qasim Rashid, an attorney and Muslim immigrant from Pakistan, is running for Congress in Virginia's 1st District, which has been represented by a Republican since 1977. If he wins, one of his constituents would be Oz Dillon, 66, of Fredericksburg, Virginia, a conservative who had posted a number of hate-filled messages about Rashid and his faith on social media.
"We do not need you[r] ilk in our nation. Let alone in any seat of office above street sweeper," Dillon wrote. "I didn't believe there was a place for [Muslims] in our government," said Dillon.
In early March, Rashid tweeted that, while he had been deeply hurt by Dillon's anti-Muslim tweets, he had discovered that Dillon was struggling with crippling medical bills after his wife Terri suffered a pulmonary embolism. So Rashid announced that he was making a donation to Dillon's GoFundMe account.
"I donated because my faith teaches me to serve all humanity, whether they be Christian, Jewish, atheist, Muslim, Sikh, Hindu -- whomever. Healthcare is a human right and I hope and pray for nothing but healing for this family," Rashid wrote. Then he encouraged his 400,000 followers to do the same if they could.
And give they did. As of March 17, the fundraiser had raised $22,635 of a goal of $26,237 from 679 givers, many of whom cited Rashid's example as the reason for their contributions.
"And my mind was just a whirlwind, a tornado of -- what the heck have I done?" Dillon said. Rashid had "reached across that gap [between us] and took my hand," he added.
"You humble me sir, with your graciousness, and surprisingly kind words," Dillon wrote to Rashid.
"Given how I have misspoken about you in posts on Facebook, I am truly shocked, that you have shared my wife and my plight with your supporters. I must now reassess my opinion about you, and your platform, come November."
"He asked for forgiveness," Rashid said, to which he replied, "There's nothing to forgive. You're my brother in humanity.'"
Dillon asked Rashid to come for a visit. On March 8, the two met in person for the first time.
"Today I met my new friend Oz😊#WinTheHearts
I look forward to the beginning of a wonderful friendship." Rashid tweeted.
"The first thing I said to [Dillon when we met] was, 'I'm not doing this for any favor,'" Rashid emphasized. "And [Dillon] responded, 'That's fine, but I need you to put your yard signs for your campaign in my lawn so everyone can see it.'" But whether or not Rashid would earn Dillon's vote was "not what it's all about," Rashid insisted.
Dillon expressed gratitude for everything he had already learned from Rashid.
"An amazing week of eye & heart opening enlightenment, that I used to always have before 9/11," he wrote online. "A Christian Muslim, Qasim Rashid, who I had previously opposed politically just because of the word Muslim, has opened my eyes that there are GOOD people in all walks of life."
One person who donated to eliminate Dillon's debt, Satish Wasti, stated: "Qasim Rashid's tweet brought me here [to Dillon's GoFundMe page]. We all have something to learn from Rashid's kindness and Oz's moral courage and his ability for self-criticism. Thanks to both Rashid and Oz for showing us that love and compassion can prevail."
More on this story can be found at these links:
A Man Sent a Hateful Message to a Muslim Candidate. He Responded With a Call For Help. CBS News
Unlikely Friendship After Political Candidate Helps Pay Medical Debt of Man Who Sent Racist Tweets. FOX43.com
Politician Helps Pay Off Medical Debt for Man Who Sent Him Racist Tweets -- And They're Now Friends. Good News Network
Mission Accomplished! Many Prayers to You All. GoFundMe
The Big Questions
1. How do you think Rashid's efforts to get better acquainted with Dillon affected the way their interaction played out?
2. Why do you think Dillon described Rashid as "a Christian Muslim"? What do you think he meant?
3. When, if ever, have you been on the receiving end of compassion from a person or persons you had treated poorly? How did that compassion impact you?
4. How can you show compassion to people with prickly personalities or hostile behavior that make them hard to love?
5. What lessons have you learned from enemies? Can you thank God for those lessons, even if you are not grateful for the hardships you went through while you were learning them?
Confronting the News With Scripture and Hope
Here are some Bible verses to guide your discussion:
Luke 6:27-28, 35-36
[Jesus said,] "But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. … But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. (For context, read 6:20-36.)
Maybe you don't think you have any enemies, so this passage doesn't really apply to you. The word "enemy" comes from the Latin word inimicus, from the prefix in-, or "not," and amicus, "friend"; so an enemy is someone who is "not a friend" or someone who is unfriendly or hostile to you, or someone to whom you are unfriendly or hostile.
Jesus sets a high bar for his disciples. While most people endeavor to love their friends and do good to those they feel close to, that is not enough for Jesus.
If you love people who love you back, is that such a great accomplishment? He wants to know. If you do good things for people who do good things for you, is that something for which you should be rewarded? If you lend money only to people who can afford to pay you back with interest, why do you think that is such a big deal (vv. 32-34)?
No, it is an accomplishment when you love your enemies who don't love you back and do good to those who hate you, when you bless those who curse you and pray God's blessing on those who abuse you, when you lend to those who can't pay you back (see also Luke 14:12-14).
When you live that way, you will receive a great reward (v. 35).
Questions: Who are your enemies (people who are unfriendly toward you, or people to whom you are not particularly friendly)? What would it take for you to become friendly to one person or group who qualifies as an enemy, by this definition? What would you need to do to become a real friend to such a person or group?1 Corinthians 4:11-14, 16
What is the nature of the great reward people who follow Jesus' instructions will receive?
To the present hour we are hungry and thirsty, we are poorly clothed and beaten and homeless, and we grow weary from the work of our own hands. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we speak kindly. We have become like the rubbish of the world, the dregs of all things, to this very day. I am not writing this to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. … I appeal to you, then, be imitators of me. (For context, read 4:11-17.)
In this letter, Paul urged the Corinthians to accept his guidance and follow his example, because he loved them as their spiritual father, the one who brought them the good news of Christ (vv. 14-15).
For the sake of Christ and the gospel, Paul said, he and his coworkers suffered hunger, thirst, privation, abuse, homelessness, exhaustion from overwork, insults, curses, persecution, slander and condemnation. They were treated like garbage. And such treatment was not all in the past. They were experiencing it "to the present hour" (v. 11), he said; it was still happening.
And how did they react to all this adversity and mistreatment? They blessed those who reviled them. They endured persecution. They spoke kindly to those who bore false witness against them and slandered their good name.
Paul wasn't wishing that the Corinthians would experience all the adversity and opposition he had endured, but when they encountered such hardship, he wanted them to copy the way he and his coworkers reacted to such things. He wanted them to bless when they were cursed, to endure mistreatment with the grace of Jesus, and to return kind words for untrue and damaging mischaracterizations of who they were.
Questions: When, if ever, have you been the target of bullies, slanderers, mockeers or unrelenting critics who could never find a good word to say about you? How did you react?Matthew 14:29-33
Who, if anyone, do you consider your spiritual father, mother or role model(s)? What aspects of their character and way of living would you want to emulate when you are being treated unfairly? How might recalling Paul's example, and the example of your personal spiritual role model(s), help you respond to curses with blessing, to persecution with perseverance, and to slander with kindness?
[Jesus] said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." (For context, read 14:22-33.)
Jesus sent the disciples out to sea while he dismissed the crowds who had come to hear him preach, and then went up the mountain by himself to pray (vv. 22-23). During the night, a storm arose, and the disciples' boat was battered by the wind and the waves (v. 24). Early in the morning, Jesus walked on the sea toward the boat, which terrified the disciples, who thought he was a ghost (vv. 25-26). Jesus reassured them that it was he himself, exhorting them not to be afraid (v. 27).
Then Peter got the bright idea of testing the waters (literally), and asked Jesus to command him to come to him on the water (v. 28). When he heard the command to come, Peter obeyed.
Everything was fine until Peter woke up to the absurdity of what he was doing, panicked, and began to sink, crying out for Jesus to save him.
On Oz Dillon's GoFundMe page is a painting entitled The Hand of God, by Yongsung Kim. In the painting, Jesus extends his arm to pull Peter, who was sinking under the waves of the sea, out of the water. Next to the image is this verse: "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2, KJV).
Why, we wonder, did Dillon choose this particular painting and verse for his GoFundMe appeal? At the very least, it seems to suggest that Dillon has a strong affinity for the Christian message. Galatians 6:2 may have been included simply as an expression of Dillon's hope that Christians who saw his appeal would help him by picking up some of the debt that was such a crushing burden on him and his wife.
Dillon may have chosen the painting because he felt he was in danger of drowning (like Peter), and he knew he needed rescuing from financial disaster that only Jesus could provide. How ironic, then, that Dillon should be rescued by over 600 people from all walks of life and different faiths and no faith!
As one donor, only identified by the initials R.D., wrote, "Love and compassion have no boundary." Sheila Dettloff, another giver, echoed the sentiment: "No religion has a monopoly on kindness."
Perhaps Dillon recognized that he needed to be rescued from his bigotry even more than he needed salvation from financial disaster. What surprised him was that the heroes in his own story turned out to be an array of people, beginning with Rashid, that he did not expect to be the heroes. One donor, Kristy Stubbs, picked up on that idea when she likened Rashid to the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37). As another contributor, Darcie D, asserted, "I'm a Christian, and the Muslims I've met truly are some of the most Christlike people I have ever known."
Questions: When, if ever, have you been surprised to see someone who does not identify as a Christian behave in a decidedly Christlike manner? How do you make sense of that experience? How might that broaden your appreciation for the ways God works in people and in the world?Psalm 145:7-9, 14
When have you felt like Peter, in danger of sinking in deep water? What do you fear today? From what do you need to be rescued? Are you ready to take the hand of Jesus, no matter who is on the other end of that hand?
They shall celebrate the fame of your abundant goodness,
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.
The LORD is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The LORD is good to all,
and his compassion is over all that he has made. ...
The LORD upholds all who are falling,
and raises up all who are bowed down. (For context, read 145:4-14.)
The psalmist praises God's might and power, majesty and wondrous works, which one generation exalts to another.
Questions: Do you think it is the older generation who celebrates God's greatness to the younger generation, or the other way around? Explain.For Further Discussion
Share about a time you experienced God's grace, mercy, steadfast love, goodness and compassion, when you thought you might be the object of God's anger instead. How might such an experience of God's compassion on you empower you to show compassion to someone you know who might not deserve it?
How can you allow God to use your arms to uphold someone who is falling? How can you allow God to use your compassion to raise up someone who is bowed down?
1. Have you ever felt frustrated about a relationship that seems to be characterized by a failure to communicate and understand one another? Maybe it felt like you were beating your head against a brick wall, which is a metaphor that expresses the idea of wasting one's time trying hard to accomplish something that is completely hopeless.
How would you apply these two following quotations to the problem of hostility from an enemy?
"Don't spend time beating on a wall hoping it will transform into a door." - French fashion designer, Gabrielle Bonheur "Coco" Chanel
"If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." - Michael Jordan, retired NBA professional basketball champion with the Chicago Bulls
2. Reflect on this, from Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life, by Henri J. M. Nouwen, Donald P. McNeill, and Douglas A. Morrison:
"The word compassion is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, which together mean 'to suffer with.' Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless."
How did Rashid show compassion to Dillon?
In one of Rashid's comments about Dillon, he called Dillon's apology compassionate. How was it possible that Dillon, who had shown little compassion for Rashid before, could be completely transformed and empathetic toward a man he had previously viewed as his enemy?
3. Here's a sample of comments from those who donated to Dillon's fundraiser because they were inspired by Rashid's compassionate generosity and by Dillon's change of heart. How do these givers appear to differ from one another? What values do these donors seem to share in common, if any?
- Kindness is the only cure to the virus of negativity that has infected our society. Hard as it is. You can argue with someone until you are both blue in the face and you will NOT change their mind. You must change their heart. ... Our problems are the enemy, not each other! Train your fire at the problem, not your neighbor. Then we have two people working on the solution instead of two people trying to destroy each other. --John Deboer
- Please know that our Muslim brothers are with us. Let's fight for each other. --Steve Johnson
- In support of humanity and building bridges. --James Ballard
- I am an atheist, and regardless of our beliefs, Islam, Christian, Hindu or none, we should all strive for a more equitable and supportive society. --George Riedel
- I am also from a Muslim family but none of this should matter if someone is in need. --Feda Mecan
- I was moved to act after hearing about Qasim Rashid's generous donation. My father could barely afford to miss work after his bypass operation. It is not 'progressive' to believe that the sick should be cared for and not laden with debt. Jesus commanded his disciples to heal the sick, and reminded them "freely you have received, freely give." --Wanjun Chen
- Encouraged by your sincere change of heart. We are all part of the same family. Our differences are a grain of sand --Martha Dille
- From an old-school Jewish lefty, on behalf of my Muslim brother Qasim Rashid, may you and your wife be well. I hope we all live to see a world where no one has to go through this --Jenny Schlieps
- I donated because Qasim Rashid, who is a good man and observant Muslim, encouraged people to help. I hope that you will in return encourage your friends and family to accept people of other faiths, ethnicities and political stripes to heal the world. --Gordon Laatz
- … As humans we always must come to the aid of others. If we don't all of humanity will be lost. … Consider this a donation from the Creator. - A Muslim friend from the other side. --Mustafa Muslim
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. --Chinese proverb
All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle. --Source unknown
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. --J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
5. What bearing do these statements have on our responsibility as Christians to get to know people rather than judging them on first impressions or appearances?
All of our humanity is dependent on recognizing the humanity in others. --Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize recipient
I don't like that man. I must get to know him better. --Abraham Lincoln
I've lived long enough -- Stonehenge and me -- that I've learned even when folks do spiteful things, they have a reason. Often when I know the reason, their actions make sense. It doesn't make them right, but it does make sense; and when I understand, I tend to be less critical and more compassionate. --Patsy Clairmont, Chasing Fireflies
Responding to the News
"Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?" attributed to Abraham Lincoln
Think about a person or group you have been less than friendly with. Ask God to give you a creative idea about how you might grow in your understanding and compassion and be a true friend to that person or group. Resolve to act on that idea and begin at once!
Prayer suggested by Romans 15:13
O God of hope, fill us with all joy and peace in believing, so that we may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Help us to see adversaries through your eyes. Reveal to us the lessons you have ordained for us to learn, that we may grow in humility, empathy, compassion and love. And may your joy be our strength. Amen.
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